Mommy Growing up: marriage
Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Shotgun Proposal

Married? Tell us the story of how the question was popped.

Wooh! Such meme from Mama Kat suddenly transported me back ten years ago at my engagement moment. So how was the question popped? Sorry to frustrate you guys but our story was not that romantic. For starters, I'm not even sure if the question was popped at all. I think it's kinda funny. The question should be, was the question popped? Hahah, please read on.

I was on my sixth year with my veterinary medicine course when I found out I was two months pregnant. Yes, two months pregnant at the beginning of my senior year. How great was that. Pregnancies out of wedlock are frowned upon by our society. Our parents and families would surely be devastated. I was beyond horrified. Confused and scared, I informed my boyfriend of my scary condition. His answer was simple "then let's get married!" That was a declaration! He didn't even pop the question. He didn't even asked me if I wonna marry him. It's the feeling of having a shotgun pointed at your face and you have no other option but to accept the proposal.

See? Told yah, not at all romantic.

With his statement, the more I got scared. I'm not yet ready. I love him but we're still kids ourselves. However, my soon-to-be-hubby was sure of his decision. He was to marry me if that's the right thing to do. He's kind of mature beyond his years. Our friends used to tease him that such was his strategy of not losing me, hmmm.

But hear me out. The problem then was how to divulge such news to our parents. A role model daughter as I was, I was scared to break the forbidding news. So I left the noble task to my poor hubby. For three days I was gone for a field trip on an island with my colleagues, an overnight ferry ride away from home. He was left to resolve our grave problem alone (he's the sweetest and obviously I'm the meanest haha). When he told his parents about  our serious problem, surprisingly, they took the news calmly and understood our situation.

Then they visited my parents and dropped the bomb themselves. Imagine how my mom reacted. She was hysterical. My father was speechless. I can't imagine how awkward the situation might be. It's their first time to meet each other and what a great way to finally meet, huh? However, my parents managed to survive the blow. They believed that everything will be alright. That their daughter will surely finish her studies and become a veterinarian someday. That we will survive such sudden transition in our lives. Knowing what everybody had gone through (and I was a coward), I was really touched and kind of felt at peace with the situation and less scared of getting married too soon.


In our Filipino culture, we have the stage before marriage called "pamanhikan", where the groom-to-be formally asks the hands of his wife-to-be from her parents for marriage. My boyfriend's family and relatives invaded our home few days later and the wedding date was set. Hence, we were officially engaged. I was then 21 and hubby was 22 years old. The wedding was held two months later in our city's cathedral  followed by a grand reception at the hotel. And the feeling? I was like floating all through out in the midst of a whirlwind, from the wedding preparations to the wedding ceremony. I survived.

Overall, though the marriage proposal was not at all that romantic, we ended up so inlove with each other. We made the right choice. And now, we got two beautiful daughters who further strengthened the bond. Though our relationship has its ups and downs, we worked it out and maintained the romance in our lives. Last month, we celebrated our tenth year wedding anniversary. Yes we did it and pretty survived the odds. As for the romantic part? I'm still waiting for my diamond ring, wondering when my husband can finally afford it lol.

This post was inspired by the fabulous Mama Kat's meme.

Friday, October 28, 2011

Pink thoughts: Dior

It's been almost a month. Living away from hubby (and youngest daughter) is an everyday torture. Then I realized, for ten years of being married, actually, we've always been living apart...

The first time was after a year of our marriage. Hubby left me and our then 6-month old eldest daughter for a one-year study in Japan. After he got back and we lived together for two years, it was then me who left him for a teaching job far from home ~ for two long years. Our kids stayed with me and we got to see each other only on holidays. Then I got granted for a graduate study abroad, so again I left him behind, this time him and our kids. A year later, he came to join me and subsequently took our kids to join us. However, such short happy years of living together came to end. Hubby was now back in our country (with our youngest daughter), leaving me (and our eldest daughter) behind for his teaching job. 

This kind of set-up oftentimes leave me wondering. Is this what we really wanted? I think there is more of a life out there, much better, less complicated and far happier. 

Earlier this week, I was cleaning our closet when I saw this lovely pink special Christian Dior perfume. Hubby bought it for me years ago ~ the fist time he left us.

Chris 1947 ~ a hot pink colored fragrance contained in a pink attractive bottle. A special limited edition fragrance from the Dior fashion house.
 Chris 1947 (a floral scent with a hint of wood and musk) is said to be the embodiment of the sexy woman who works and plays hard. Hmmm, interesting...
Looking at this perfume, I am once again reminded of my hubby's love for me (or of his leaving me lol). Boy, I'm glad he is just a text message or skype away.

Nevertheless, I'm still hoping and praying that our difficult situation will pass. Can't wait to come home and live together as a whole and normal family again.